Me blabbing about PDA

Let's just settle one thing first. This is my personal opinion about PDA. It might annoy you, it might hurt you, it might make you hating me so I warn you...If you feel content with your PDA thingy and don't even care with what the rest of the world thinks, just turn around please. If you continue reading it and end up being annoyed...Well guess what, that's exactly what I feel when I saw PDA thingy post flooding my news feed. So, for the sake of whatever relationship we have, for the sake of the possibility that me considering you my dear friend, if you really okay with PDA, just turn around please :)

http://www.threeskins.com/acatalog/smi0664_s.jpg

If you can read this, it means you are in a way ignoring my warning...So, just please embrace yourself.

When I said PDA, what I mean is the public display of affection either online like on facebook or other social network per se or the 'real cuddling and kissing'. Well, I live in a country where such acts are quite common in public place. Not as horrible as in Western Europe or in US though. At least, people here still try to find the empty corners or dark areas to 'perform' PDA. (It kinda make me understand the reason my parents won't let us grow up in Western European country. It's just useless to sensor any kissing scene from your TV if your children can see it anywhere).

Anyway, I don't like seeing PDA...wkwkw...It irks me. Like I said earlier, some people in this country are decent enough to find empty corners or dark areas. That may be one positive side of this country. You don't just see teenagers smooching in an open area in a crowded mall. Though one occasion or another, I could see people showing PDA in the mall, MRT, bus, or university, and my instant response in mind is always

Get a room will you...

One I cannot run from is the online PDA as it's flooding my facebook news feed. It is seriously eerie when you see the intimate conversation or what's supposed to be meant only for two between husband and wife in a public area. The more eerie when they don't even married yet. My response is the same, get a room will you...well, by room I means SMS, Gtalk, YM, Skype, BBM, or whatever communication portal available for two that if your communication only meant to be read by the two of you.

I think the main problem is, the different agreement of the definition of intimacy. Some people might think to call your loved ones with a name only you can call is already an intimate thing. (i belong to this group). Some might think that it's not. Another problem is the different excuses reasons people come up with for PDA. Some might say it's just a form of sharing happiness to the rest of the world, some say it's the form of sharing happiness to the family (well, they might not know that there is another way to do this apart from posting it on facebook), some simply may say that they just want to show off...just like a little kid having a very expensive and one of a kind toy and he/she just shows it to his/her friends, mocks them...

Look look look...I have this while you don't...

It kinda confuse me though. If you feel content in a fulfilling relationship, why do you feel the urge of wanting a response by the rest of the world? I mean I kinda understand of the urge of having physical contact in offline PDA but to have people response on your online PDA, I cannot get any other explanation except for wanting to show off. Well, I don't mind people showing off as long as they don't mind to be considered of showing off.

Initially, I agree with my friend hypothesis that I feel jealous so I dislike PDA. That might be true when I was still single and that PDA thingy really annoys me...
However, once I got married, surprise surprise, it still irks me. Wkwkwk...

My one sided love-CDG

I always have a thing for CDG. I always want to jump into the gate whenever I see its monitor flashing CDG in Changi. As a Moslem, I know that there's one city where I should feel being called to visit but that particular city, that particular airport is the one I'm always longing for. Thus, it comes as a little bit surprise when I found that it's one of the 10 of the world's most hated airports here.
Nevertheless, as I am still a little bit persistent and thick headed regarding this matter, I still love CDG :D
Ooohhh CDG, ooohhh ville de lumiere, when can we meet?

Comme un diamant qui se pose
Aux branches de mes doigts
Tu brillais chaque nuit devant moi
Ville de lumiere
J'ai besoin de toi

Ne plus pleurer
Rester là
A se demander pourquoi
N'exister
Que pour toi
T'aimer jusqu'au dernier combat

When being not a Drama Queen

women's greatest strength is their unlimited patience...to smile after long silent cry, to trust after painful lie, to rise after falling apart...

The end of a journey

That is what he gave me as an answer when I asked him,

"What should be the title of our wedding photos album?"

Indeed, it has been quite a long journey for each of us, though not with each other. A journey that is full with ups n downs, tears, drama, anger, agony. Thanks God it ended up in a best way possible. I end up with someone much much much better than the rest (my friend's twist of Adele's Someone Like You). He ends up with, well, me. I dare not to say that I am much much much better than the rest since I know very well, I'm not. (My personal trait of self inferiority). But that doesn't matter anyway, since I am the one God chose for him, and he's the one chosen for me. I love him and I know for sure, he loves me. :)

Qawwam

It's not imam nor rois nor malik.
It's qawwam...why's that? What difference would it make?

What difference should it make?

 Found one here: ketika suami harus bisa memasak

Mother's day

This morning, I recalled an episode of Mother's Day in Modern Family. On that day, the wives were freed from chores n went hiking while the husbands were doing chores n preparing dinner.
Somehow, that was one of my favorite episode. It was just super duper sweet...

I dreamed that one day I would be awaken to a breakfast on bed prepared by my loved ones. I would definitely feel so loved n blessed. Well, I can only keep dreaming now. Let's just keep praying, shall we...

I wanna be a mother because I want to have the unbreakable bond between mother n child

For now, Happy Mother's Day for my mothers...
I love you Ibu for always being there...
I love you Mama for bringing up such a wonderful man...

ITB motherhood on mother's day :)

Wishlist

I want to watch
- Twilight, tehe...
- Sherlock Holmes
- MI4
- Wicked...

Really want to watch WICKED :D

Menyapa rasa

yang bernama cemburu

Ketika masa lalu menjelma sebagai kenangan
Ketika teman dan tempat bersepakat melambai-lambai dengan label memori
Makhluk-makhluk itu mengintip di sudut-sudut hati dan menyesaki dada

Dan saya memilih untuk percaya
Pada pria luar biasa yang telah Allah pilihkan untuk saya
Mengukir senyum-senyum baru
Dan memahatnya pada gunung-gunung batu

Agar rasa ini menjadi landasan untuk mengarungi samudera
Karna rasa ini hanya bisa ada saat rasa lain ada
Dan rasa lain itu bernama CINTA...

The (current) last paycheck

Just received my last paycheck today...
Welcome income-less world, I think :)

Dear Sir/Madam,
Please be advised that the following payment will be made to you on behalf of *******
Transaction Reference: *******
Payer/Remitter's Reference No: *******
Beneficiary Details: *******
Payment method: Giro
Payment Amount: *******
Currency: SGD
Value Date: 14-Dec-2011

The Tortoise and The Hare

Why spend effort thinking about what others can or cannot do? Keep your eyes on your path, envision your goal, believe you can get there, then do what you need to do to get there. You'll realize the tortoise wins the game in the end.
Dr. Thomas Hecht

H.I.T.A.M

Thursday, July 1, 2010

hitam kelam
gelap terlelap
kelana merana
gundah gelisah
...

Tanpa judul

Va dove Ti Porta il Cuore

Pergilah ke mana hati membawamu

Itulah judul novel yang dia baca ketika dia memutuskan untuk meninggalkan sarang nyamannya dan terbang ke negeri seberang beberapa tahun yang lalu. Saat ini dia sedang mengalami kebimbangan yang sama, untuk meninggalkan keadaan nyamannya dan bertaruh pada dunia asing di luar sana, atau tetap diam di sini dan berharap keajaiban yang mengubah semuanya. Dia terdiam, menarik nafas dalam-dalam, dan berusaha membersihkan hatinya dari kerak-kerak yang mengotorinya selama bertahun-tahun terakhir ini. Lalu dia menangis, dia berteriak, dan dia tertawa. Akhirnya, hatinya memutuskan dan diapun beranjak. Hari ini, dia menarik garis akhir, dia menutup sebuah babak, dan dia melangkah, dengan berbekal doa, restu kedua orang tuanya, dan pengharapan pada Tuhannya. Dia tidak tahu apa yang menunggunya di luar sana namun dia terus berjalan. Karena sungguh musykil mengharapkan hasil yang berbeda dengan terus menerus melakukan hal yang sama.

June...my new favourite month :)

Tak ada yang lebih tabah dari hujan bulan juni

Dirahasiakannya rintik rindunya kepada pohon berbunga itu



Tak ada yang lebih bijak dari hujan bulan juni

Dihapusnya jejak-jejak kakinya yang ragu-ragu di jalan itu



Tak ada yang lebih arif dari hujan bulan juni

Dibiarkannya yang tak terucapkan diserap akar pohon bunga itu



-S.P.D-

L A U T

Friendster dengan lucunya menghapus blog lamaku...yah bagusnya tertutuplah aib2 :D Tetapi rasanya ada yang aga bermutu dan setelah menggali2 akhirnya ketemu juga. Dulu ditulis untuk seorang sahabat yang telah bersabar menghadapi saya yang egois bin keras kepala bin ngeyelan bin nyebelin. Lalu kemudian hidup membuat kita menjauh dan menjauh dan akhirnya kita menempuh jalan yang berbeda. Well, u know who u r. Yang catatan kakinya ngga usah ditulislah y :)

Damai bagiku adalah terduduk di sini

menikmati angin laut yang bertiup kencang

menikmati jilatan2 ombak

menikmati kemilau biru seluas pandangan mata



Damai bagiku adalah berdiam di sini

menerka rahasia yang tersembunyi di balik kilauan biru

menahan keinginanan menyibak dekapan rapat samudra

menyimpan pertanyaan harta apakah yang tersembunyi di bawah sana…



Damai bagiku adalah membagi tawa bersamamu

mendengarkan canda

menyimpan cerita

menikmati alur kehidupan masing2 kita



Damai bagiku adalah berdiri di sini

Tidak lagi berusaha menerjang badai untuk mengarungimu

Tidak lagi berusaha menyelamimu

Tidak lagi berusaha melukaimu



Damai bagiku cukup ini

Di sini

Saat ini

Konon kabarnya teman adalah mereka yang menghabiskan waktu bersamanya walaupun dalam diam, bisa membawa kelegaan seolah2 sepanjang waktu dihabiskan untuk bertukar cerita. Jadi mellow2 ga jelas gini. Merindukan kalian. :)

Hello World

My last entry is around a year ago...wkwkwk...many things happen since that day that I dare not to share with the rest of the world. I have been in cloud nine since, alhamdulillah...
Eniwai, I attended a convocation (or in Indonesia, we called it graduation ceremony) bout 3 weeks ago, and unlike me who gave unprepared sleepy distorted farewell speech, the person who gave the farewell speech was quite well-prepared. I could feel his vibrant spirit, thrill, and excitement of entering the world. I was reminded of how I felt five years ago (yes, i am that old) when I felt that there was a lot of opportunities in front of me. That was one of the optimistic moment I've ever felt.
If you asked what I felt 5 years after. Well, for sure, I lost the thrill I felt that day. I might be one of the unlucky ones of having an early death. Some of my friends seem to enjoy their life and their job, and still having the same excitement of thousand opportunities ahead.

Don't I have thousand opportunities as well?

What I feel now that the choice I made four years ago dragged me down to hit the rock bottom. I have experienced countless of depressive episodes since then. In the end, or at the point I'm standing now, I kind of understand why I had to take a lot of detour to stand where I am now. I am happy more or less with my life. Unsatisfied a lot with my career life but heck, it's just four (or five) years of having made the bad choice. For sure I can shake it off and move on (someday). Nah, actually the only way out I'm thinking now is to be a housewife. Apparently, I am that desperate. But like God has given me His precious gifts after series of misfortune in life, who knows what He has ahead for me. This is me trying not to be dragged down to the bottomless hell of depression again.
I am still trying to keep pushing myself though. That I can manage to graduate. That I can manage to somehow enjoy this tiny country island. That I can manage to face the shadow that has been haunted me for the last several months and kept me awake the whole night when I decided to face it last night. Breech of trust is something that is very hard to mend. But I need to trust I guess. I need to be more composed and calm and face the shadow so hopefully it would blew off my path so we are ready to face another shadow on another path...I can't believe I can sound this optimistic.
Hello world, this is me...the same little girl who is trying her hard to survive in this big world. To be better at my previous roles and to welcoming my new role. :)
65 days to go for freedom and loneliness.